It's Another Twila Commentary!
by HeapsofHorses
Summary: My commentary on Twila, da girl who was in love with a vampire! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hey guys, it's another Twila Commentary! After reading several commentaries on not only this fic, but also My Immortal and Forbidden Fruit, I just couldn't resist anymore and decided to write one of my own. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or this pathetic excuse for fanfiction**

hay guyz my nami is Twila Beautiful PSyco Topaz Cullem. **This girls has got some SERIOUS mental problems** i go 2 skewl in waschington wif da SEXIIEST VAMPYRE EVER,** Sorry darling, I sincerely doubt that** hiz name iz edward cullen** Can someone PLEASE tell this girl Edward Cullen doesn't exist?** n he iz sooo sexii n hot n gerad way mite play him in da movi TWILITE!1 **Hey Gerard! Hadn't seen you in a while!** omfg i wuld hav an organism **An organism?** lolol but neway dis iz mi stori its called XXX TWILA, THE GURL WHO WAS IN LUV WIF A VAMPIR XXX' **Why the XXX?** ok btw im gothic n so is edword so we wer ment to b ok! **Edward might be a gloomy, possessive idiot but he most certainly is NOT gothic…** so haterz bak off n if u lyk bella den FUK U! **No thanks…** ok thanx 2 my editar, Midnite Cullen **She should get fired** (dnt get ne ideaz shez not marred 2 ed, she iz maried 2 jasper) **Yeah right…** plz plz plz giv me reviews plz i wuld lyk dat, this is da 1st time i eva rote a stori, **I can see that** btw my infleuence is enoby darkness dementia ravn way! **I can see that, too… **i fink she iz da best OK ENJOY GUYZ **I doubt it…**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx TWILA, DA GIRL WHO WAS IN LUV W/ A VAMPIRxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx **There's the x again…**

CHAPTER 1

Hi my name is Twila Beatiful Psyco Topaz** Who the HELL calls their kid Psyco?** (not cullen yet, bcuz i ddnt meet edward yet) n i live in waschington wif my sister Midnite. we liv in a dark house that iz far away from every1 els n we r vampires. we feeston blood **You FEAST on blood? Wow…** n no1 else noes dat we are vampirs. not evn are mom wich is y we moved away to b by ourselves. yes we r LONERS **No you're not. There's two of you. With loners you're all alone**.

i go 2 a hi school n every1 finks dat im really hott** This has "Mary Sue" written all over it…**, i hav strait blak hair nd topez eyes n mi sister midnte is da same accept she has magenta eyez** Magenta eyes? Or she wears contacts or something is REALLY wrong with her**. i wear lots of blak makup on mi eyes even tho i hav dark ciircles under my eyes, (a/n ok if u think thats lame then FUK U, edword has dem too and steraphie myers **Who's steraphie myers? Oooh, you mean Stephanie Meyer!** sed hes realli hot ok.) **Meyer has been wrong before…** i dnt lyk any1 at mi school, i am a missenthrop (a/n loook it up) **I did, I put it on the Oxford dictionary. It couldn't find it. You misspelled it… FAIL** that menz i hate other ppl accept midnite. **So Midnight isn't a person?**

one day i met a realli sexi vampore named EDWARd CULLENS **I thought his name was Cullen, not Cullens…** he haz realli white skin lyk me. he is satan's gift to dis planet (a/n I DONT BELEVE IN GOD I AM N ATHEIST. i thnk saten created dis universe god bles u satan u r alwayz in mi heart.) **I can't decide what's the funniest in that sentence, the fact she doesn't seem to get the meaning of an atheist or the fact she says "god bless u satan"** so anywey i met him i nda skewl n he was wif some fukking ugli ass bytch named bella swann. she waz soo stupid n she kept fallin out of her seat. **Bella might be clumsy, but she's not THAT clumsy **edwward lookd at me lyk wtf is dis gurl doing.** That's what I was wondering…** i smiled at him sexi and aventerous n he new rite away that i wuz a vampir, **Just from you smiling at him?** i culd tell from his eyes wich were da same collor as mine. **Er… Okay?**

"Heyy" he sed walkn away from bella. dere were some gay ass ghetto ppl in his way doin da SOLDA BOY CRANK DANce n he jus lookd at dem with his dethly eyes n they iran away. i realy hat cliks n gheto ppl fink they r kewl,** So do you, but apparently everyone just thinks you're sexy. I don't get it** i giv dem the middle finger in the halwayz n itz l;ke YEA HUS TUFF **Hus tuff? What the Hell? Could anyone PLEASE tell me what that could mean?** NOW LOL rite

neway edward n i sat 2getha at da lunch tabel n bella stard at us wif dat poser jakob. **Jacob doesn't go to the same school as Bella. Another FAIL…** ed ddnt pay ne atencion to her at all. he told me al abot how he iz a vampir n his dad carlose **Carlose? I thought it was Carlisle** wnated 2 meet me. n his sisters alice, rosmarie, jasper n emet **His sisters Jasper and Emmett. Laughing my ass off over here…** all luved me rite away n his mom esmi wnted 2 meet me 2. **Told you she was a Mary Sue!**

so we kut skewl early n went to his realli big house in da woods n jasper is realli big and muscelar** I thought Emmett was the muscular one?** so he jst nocked down all da treez in da way. when we got there carlose came to da door imedately. he gasped in surpise at my beauty "You Must be twila, my u certenly r attraxive" he teasd me seductevly. **Kill me now please** ed, jasp, emet, alison n rosaline **Alison? Rosaline? This just keeps getting worse…** all growld at him angrly, all sensitive becuz they liked me 2 besidez it wusnt fare cuz he was alreadi married. **So are Jasper, Emmett, Alice and Rosalie.**

"Yea thats me lol" i told him and bowed (a/n dats wat they do in japanese becuz its polite) "nice to met you i said. **Let me make this clear to you. You. Are. In. Washington. Not in Japan! **"So i hear ur a vampir, cum in my house n we can talk about it." **Gross…**

I waz sooo excited n i ran in quikly in every1 followed me, we were alreadi frends.

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PLZ GUYZ TELL ME IF ITS GUD **HELL no… **

**AN: Dear god, and this was only the first chapter… Review, please? Gonna need it :).**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Allright, first a HUGE thanks to Alexreeder17 for putting this story on alert and favourite! Anyway, next chapter. Enjoy!**

FLAMERZ BAK OFF OK. mi engish is fine** No, it isn't. If it was, you wouldn't be getting comments on it** u dnt hav to b a bytch about it u fukkin homos. if u lik bella i sed not 2 red cuz u wuld be offenced.** I LOATH Bella, and I still don't like this story…** i red dis book a lot of tims i fink i no der names. **Alison? Rosaline? Carlos? And since when are Jasper and Emmett girls?**

and wateva u say, DUNT DISS TARA GELSBIE. OK. SHE IS A FUKKING GRATE RITER** Er… No.**

OK HERE IS CHAPTA 2.** Ooooh joy!**

XXXXXXXXXXXXX CHAPTER 2 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Wen i walkd in2 da house edward disapered and den appered at da piano (hez a vamprie he kan do that.) he storted 2 play Famous Last werds by mi chemical romans. **There is NO way he would be able to do that on a piano** i started 2 sing in my beatifull voice "Wel i kno that i kan make u stay, wel den were iz ur heart? were iz ur heart?" **Wrong lyrics, sweetheart, sorry** every1 gasped, even tho they were vampirs they didnt hav voices lyk me. OUT of nowere they all jumped up nd tried to tak off my cloths.** I agree, that WAS out of nowhere. Wow, I agree with Twila. Hope it won't happen again…**

"WOT R U DOING?" i creamed.** You creamed? Right… **deir eyes were red n they had all turned in2 savagez. den they stoppd and confused.

"Sorry Twila." edward sed. "sometimes wen we c some1 we kant resist we turn in2 beasts. it wnt hapen agen" puting bak on mi clothe. **So he's helping you dress now?**

"Itz ok a lot of ppl r attracted to me" i excplaned. they all understod. **No. Just, no. This is just HORRID. I can't. I just. Can't.**

"it must be ur blood" sed carlose in horrofied. "Beauty, u hav the most rare n exotic blood in all da world, evry vampir wil want to drink it.** Vampires. Don't. Have. Blood. Are we clear?** itz much betta den that other gurls, wats her name?"

"Dat bytches nam is bella" sed jasper growling. Midnite hugged him** Where did she come from?** so he wuldnt get 2 angry n apper in bellas house n strangle her wif 1 tuch of his finger cuz hes realli strong lyk da hulk.** I don't think Jasper's green… And you can't strangle someone with just one finger, you'd need at least two.**

"twila, i wnat u 2 marri me" sudenly screemed alise hu was a plebian. **A plebian? What the…** edward rowred at her, furius n all protective n sudenly... he htransformed! **I GOT IT! Jasper isn't the Hulk, Eddie is!**

"OMFG NOOOO" i shouted cuz i dint want ne1 2 get hurt. eds shirt bursted opened wif mussels. **Told you** his topazz eyez turnd pure blak with strengt n energy n he jumped at alice

"TWOLA IS MARRING ME ALREADI"** You don't even know her name…** he sed wif his voice was booming n all da windows exploded n da glass rained down lik in dat avril laven video wer she punches da miror n da glass all flyes out around her. He storted 2 fite with alice to da death over me.

"Guyz guys" i suddenly compromized "Guess wat srry im not a lebian." alice started 2 cry tearz of blood. **No. No. No. NO!**"Y r her tears blood"** That's what I want to know. Only the REAL vampires cry tears of blood** i asked all curios

"Oh no this is bad" said emet hu had been in da bathrom da hole time. "wen we cry our tearz r blood n its da blood of our victims, shez losin blood n now she wil be thirsy agen. RUN"** As I've said before: Vampires. Don't. Have. Blood!**

Alic tryed 2 jump at me and tare my flesh but i movd out of da way n she attakd rosemarie instead **If she's thirsty, why's she attacking her fellow vampires instead of one of those poor, unknowing humans?**hu was prety but she waznt as prety as me **Where did that come from?** n her throat flew open.n blood poured out everywere n alice ate it. **No comment…**

"Ohh mi satan" i said heartbrokn becuz i causd so much truble. edward jus laughed "its ok babe" he said nd kissed me for da 1st time! (He had turned back from blak ed to white ed** What the hell?** (a/n HEZ LIK HOTSANHARU FROM FRUITY BASKET) n he was calm agen.) "Shez a vampir, shell just cum bak 2 life."

so they sedeted alison n she fel asleep **Another random something. Perhaps I should start a count… **n rose came bak 2 lyf. we had berger king 4 diner bcuz** Yeah, because it's perfectly normal for vampires to eat a hamburger** i had 2 hurry. n then i went home thinsking of edword **Well, I can see the connection. Neither of you knows the other's name** the hole time and how his flami hot lips felt on my. his body waz so warm n i culdnt wate to c him agen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX END OF CHAPTA

**AN: Well, another chapter down, 10 to go. Oh god, this is horrible. But I carry on :). Anyway, please review, I need to know you guys are reading this. Please?**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you to Gammija for reviewing. Glad you liked it! Now, on with the chapter!**

OK PPL HU REVIEW 2 SAY SHIT ABOUT MI STORI CAN GO FUKK DEMSELFS.** Why should they? They're right. Your story sucks** my stori is beleiveble u just hav 2 keep readin n u can c y!1 but to ppl hu gav me good reveiws,** She got good reviews? I bet they were playing truth or dare or something** THANX U GUYZ ROKK 333 LUV U

CHAPTER 3

"Hey betch wat r u doin home." **Nice way to greet someone… **midnite asked.

"u hav 2 promise not 2 say nething..." i sed nervly n midnite laffed n sed "hu wuld i say somthing 2, we r loners remeber?" **As I've said before, you're not.**

"o yea" i sed and told her evrythin dat hapened. she gosped wen i told her abot edword kissing me.** Wait, but… She was there?** "SO WATE" she scremed "R U GUYZ IN LUV NOW OR WHUT?"

"ya were goin 2 homecuming 2getha." i showd her my blakk dress wif lace n leather n my spiky black shoez. "edword sed he liks dese."** Every guy likes it when a girl dresses up like a whore** we laffed happy 2gether n danced arond da house. we were so happi 4 me. i sang tenagerz by mcr. den. ... DA DOOR NOCKED! **The door knocked. Did he knock himself unconscious or something?**

"TWIL WERE R U. sum1 asked frum outside. i went 2 da door n it was alison. **What a surprise…** i scremed. IF U FUKKING TRI 2 SUKK MI BLOOD AGEN ILL GET ED i told her.** Vampires. Don't. Have. Blood. Okay?** she bast in2 tearz.** Last time I checked, Meyer's sparklefairies couldn't cry… Another fail** midnite quikly jumoed up 2 defend me but i told her to go awey bcuz i culd handle alis.

"ok y did u cum here." i sed. alisenz blody tears dint scare me. i new she had enuf blood 2 last cuz of wen she attaked alison. **She attacked herself?** "i felt sooo bad 4 tring to drink ur blood" she histericly cry. "i wnted 2 alopogize wif a present."

"All i wnat in dis world is edword, n i hav him so noting u can giv me matterz." **Oh, please** i shucffed at her. But den ... she held up 2 TIKKETS 2 A MCR CONSERT!

"OMFGGGGG!111" i was static. **And it's this easy to get Twila to break a promise…** i grabed dem from her n gave 1 2 midnite. "actully" alison wimpered "1 was suposed 2 be 4 me. so we cold go 2getha"

"But i wanted 2 go wif ed" **You just gave the other ticket to Midnight. Are you gonna give yours to Eddy?** i shoted. i imagned his beutiful face wif his blakk eyliner n blakk lipstik. n his smexi bodi. **That is just horrible** OK alison sed. "we can jus tak mi hole family. esmet realli luvs mcr 2" **Who's Esmet? Is it a slash pairing? Emmett/Esme or something?**

so we went to da consert n ed n i had innercoarse on da way. evry1 tought we wer so cute. **They're insane. I thought it disgusting.**

"THIS NITE WALK DA DEAD" scremed gerad way. **I do hope he had a microphone, and didn't have to scream..** den... EVENIEZENCE KAME ON! **PLEASE, just get ONE name right?** dey sand a duet wif mcr. den dey sang sum more stuff.

emet had an ejaxclamation **A what?** in da audience n sudenly HE TURNED IN2 A BAT. **Ooooo, the horror!** "OH SHITTTTT NOOOO" EDWard sighed. "dis is bad too twola, dis is realli bad." **Again with the Twola **all dis bad stuf kept hapening wile i was wif dem. **Another reason for them to kill you and dump you in a ditch** vampirs turn int2 batz wen dey r realli exited n evry1 wuld no his secret but no1 cared cuz dey wer all gothz. **Even if they were goths, they'd care if someone suddenly turned in a bat** gerad lookd at him from da stage n he jumpd down thru da crowd n came over 2 us.

"He bat." **Way to state the obvious** he sed in his fukking killer voce. i CREAMED so loud bcuz i luvvv gerad wif all my lyfe. **I thought you had some kind of obsession with Eddy?** his makueup waz runing bcuz he waz cring cuz dey sang helen (a/n dat song is abot his grandpa hu dyed RIP GERARDS GRANPA)** His grandfather's name was Helen? Are you sure it wasn't his grandmother?** but he glarced at emset n tuched his wings n he turned bak.

gerad went home wif da cullenz bcuz **Care to tell me why?** he nd emet becam bfs. **Kill me now** cuz dey fell in luv. **That was a pointless sentence **i was sooo jealous but ed got angy n i told him i luv him so it waz ok. WE ALL WENT HOM N I GOT GERARDS AUTOGRAF. **I thought you were home already?**

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PLZ GUYZ GIV ME MOR REVEIWS I FINK DIS WAZ A REALLI GUD CHAPTER **Wrong, I think this was the WORST chapter up until now.**

**AN: Another chapter down, 9 to go. Till next time!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hey guys! First of all: Thank you ****Kisses Under The Apple Tree for putting this story on alert, and Thank you to I'm awesome and y'all know it for putting this story on alert AND for reviewing! So brace yourself guys. Here comes the chapter!**

OK PPL I AM NOT A TROL! I AM A VAMPIR OK GET IT STRAIT** I spit out my breakfast there, and it took me five minutes to stop laughing…** THANX FOR DA PPL HU GAVE ME GUD REVEIWS U GUIZ ROKK **MORE good reviews? Does she write them all herself?**

CHAPTER 4

I was walking down da halway in skewl wen i saw Ed wif... bella! **And the stupidity begins… **she waz askin him sumfing n cring all over da place.** How's she doing that? Can I learn how to do that?** "Wat is goin on" i snared n edword **Here we go again with the "edword". Seriously, learn his name** hugged me n sed "Its ok i waz tring 2 ignore her butt she wnt go away."

"Plz plz edmard" **Oh, that's a new one! **she cryed. "I realli want 2 go to homecumin wid u. i go evry year wif no date n now im in luv wif u nd i want u to b mi date."

STFU edward sed. "Cant u see dat i alredi hav a date. **Really? When did you ask her?** Dis is my gf TWILA." **She's your girlfriend now, huh?**

"Yea u better bakk off." i told her. "odderwize thingz mite get messi." **Ooooooooh, now I'm scared! Not **She ran away screming.

"So hav u cn Esmet?' i assed him. "He waznt in homroom 2dai" "Yea ummm Tqila,** And again I'm rolling over the floor laughing my ass off… Tequila :D** he transforrmed out of da skewl so he culd go on tourz wif Gerad."** Err… They'd notice his absence, hun**

"But hes a vampir1" i was socked at dis. "Yea but ur a vampiir 2."** I don't see how this is relevant** ed sed. "o yea." i sed. (a/n I DINT FORGET I WAZ WATING 4 DA RITE TIME TO BRING IT UP AGEN.)** You should have waited a bit longer** so we both turned in2 batz n flew 2 class (no1 noticed).** So no one notices it when two giant bats suddenly turn up in class and transform into Twila and Eddy?**

When skewl ended i went in2 my car and drove hom. Wen I got der my sister was geting maried. **RANDOM! No really, where did that come from?**

"OMSG R U GETING MARIED 2 JAZER."** Who's that?** i culd not beleve it. **Neither can I** 'yea' she smeled. "I luv him n he iz goin 2 live wif us now." **Kill me now, please**

I storted 2 cry becuz ed n i wernt maried yet. **Excuse me for a moment: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Okay, I'm done. Dear GOD!** Midnite trid to hug me but i shot her away,** I'm now picturing her taking a gun and shooting Midnight to oblivion…** bcuz her lif waz so much betta dan mine. "Im alredi 16 n im not marred yet."** OH NO! The Horror!** tears swam down mi beatiful face.

Suddenly... dey al shoted "SURPISEE!1" Midnite n Jasper wernt getting married... IT WAZ 4 ME AND ED! **So rude, forcing them to marry when Eddy hasn't even asked her…**(a/n dey got mared da next day insted).** Err, okay?**

"NO WAY I was sooo inflated.** So… what exactly?** Edward and me had an atheest ceremoni in my hose. **How am I supposed to picture that?** So we were huband and wives. Midnite, Jazper, Esmie, **Esmie! Another new one! **Emet, Gerad, Rose, were all dere... but so waz... ALLICE! **Aaand, the Horror is back…**

"I hope ur not mad dat me n ur brother r married." i sed to her gothikally** How can you talk gothically?** after da wedding. "I told u that i dunt lik u that way, im not lezz."

"Sigh" she knew. So we all went 2 a party n had lots of blood. **The Cullens are veggie's, Ed would probably divorce you if you drank so much human blood. O wait, what am I saying? PLEASE drink that much, and then kill yourself when Eddy doesn't love you anymore.** Then we went bak to mi house. Some1 rang the bell n i answered it, making out wif Edword. **That's nice. It could be anyone there at your door.**

"Y DID U MARRI HIM YOU IGNORANIUS."** Ignoranius, so funny :D** shoted da guy at da door. It was Bibby Brown. **Who? **He ran in on his weelchaire n Jacob flowed him. "Dont u dare tuch Twia." snotted** He snotted? Did he wipe his nose at them? Tell them how much better he was than them?** Ed. Every1 came 2 c what waz happening. "Why wold I toch her, shes hieneous"** Even though you misspelled it (AGAIN) I agree** he glarred at me.

"THATS IT NOW I HAV 2 KILL U." boomed mi busband.** Who is this busband?** He turned in2 a savage lik da time i went to his house. I told him 2 stop becuz i needed to talk to Bolly **Bolly? Where did Bibby go?** n Jakob. he stoped. **Thank god, that was about as much stupidness I could handle…**

"Ok y dont u want us 2 be together y is our love so bad 4 u" i cried. "Itz because... I CANT SAY IT." sed da guy in da wheelcher. **His name is Billy, darling**

"JUST SPIC IT OUT." every1 sed. he began to cry histerical. "Mebe dis song will help u undersand." he started 2 sing in his crampy old voice **He's not THAT old **"WELL I MIS U. I MISS U SO FAR. N DA COMMISION OF UR KISS, DAT MADE IT SO HARD." **Oh no! Not another lovesick idiot!**

Well gerald was FORIOUS becuz dat was his song n he started 2 attak him bcuz of copiright refrigement.** So no one is allowed to sing the song? Poor fans… If he still has any, that is. I mean, he's attacking everyone that sings his songs…** (a/n I DNT OWN THE LYRCS TO DA SONG EITHER). Ther was a big fite n i storted to cry "Oh no, ur in luv with me arnt u." **I TOLD you!** And Bobby Ran away from gerad n sed YES. Edword killed him.** Random… Please, do something about all those random sentences**

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**AN: Okay, scratch what I said at the end of last chapter. THIS is the worst chapter now. Only 8 chapters to go! See you next time!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hey everyone! First of all, Thank ****you ****ksatriabawangmerah**** and I'm awesome and y'all know it for reviewing. And another massive Thank you to Luxaz and Co for reviewing, and putting this story on your alert and favourite list. Now, you might want to take a moment before you start reading, because this story is just gonna get worse… Okay, on with the chapter!**

IF U R LEVING ME LONG AZZ REVEIWS ON Y I RUNED UR LIFE DEN SORRI GET DA FUKK OVA IT. i am gong 2 keep makin chaptas** No, please no! Have mercy!** n if u report me den ur a lozer, ill just make a new accont.** Aaaand, we'll just report that one too** NEWAYZ FANX** Is this some kind of variation on the "fangs" Tara used?** 2 DA PPL HU GAVE ME GOOD REVEIWS AGEN U GUYZ KEEP ME GOING. PLZ ENJOY CHAPTA 5.

CHAPTER 5

We didnt no whut 2 do wif all da blood from bobby brown so every1 just drank it off da floor.** Ew, gross. Did you lick it off the floor? Or use straws or something?** We had weding gamez n shit and jacob left cuz he waz angri at us 4 some resason.** YOU JUST KILLED HIS DAD! AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN SAY SORRY! AND THEN YOU'VE GOT THE AUDACITY TO SAY YOU DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S ANGRY?! Sorry about that. Just couldn't control myself** We playd spin da bottle n GErard had 2 kiss ed. (a/n lol bi guyz r sooo hot)** RANDOM! Seriously, wish you'd stop doing that** i waznt jelous cuz dey r both guyz.** So? As you said before, they could be bisexual. Which means you should be very jealous** But Emetr was deprezzed becuz Gerord is his bf. We listened 2 Green day and he got cheered up.

I was gong 2 sleep dat nite when i got posesesd by Saten.** Err… Okay? I think…** But it was ok cuz were friendz n he just doez dat sometimes as a joke.** I spit out my breakfast. Again. That's not a good thing, Twila** I asked him wat he wanted n he told me 2 kill Rosemarie. **Who's that?**

"What y?" I new dat Ed would be angey if i killed his sister. **Nonono, I think you got it all messed up, Eddy's sister's name is Rosalie, not Rosemarie** "Becoz she is a blond prepp" sed satan suicidelly. **Yeah, because that reason is always good enough **So I went 2 der house in da dark n i knew wich was rosalyns room becuz da door was pink with pompomz hanging from it n a poster of Holary Duff.** Allright, that's just not nice, Twila** I broke down da door but inside waz... EDWIRD! **The Horror is back, guys!**

"WTF IS GOING ON U ASSHOLE" i scremed "DIS IS UR ROOM?" "NO LET ME FUKKING EXPLAN" he began to cry. Den i saw... ROSA WAS ON TOP OF HIM! **Who's Rosa?**

"EW WTF U BUSTARD DATS UR SISTER!1"** No, Rosalie is his sister** i exploded. I transofmed n began to tear da room apart n ripped all da preppy posters down.** Oooooh, now I'm scared. Feel better now?** I jumped at Rosalien n bit her neck nd she started having a sezure. Then she ran around nd died. **But she'll just come back to life, so what use did it have?** Ed kept crying.

"Dis is disgusting" i said wif disgust. **Yes, you just said it was disgusting** "I cant beleve it, u nd Rose." "Just listen ok" he pleased. "I culdnt c in da dark, I thought she was you." **Best excuse EVER!**

"Yea rite like I beleve dat. We're getting a devorce!" I waz so pissed. But den Edward got on his knes n sang **No. No. No. NOOOOOO! **"If u mary me, will u bury me, will u carry me 2 da end?" Nd I remembad da promise we had mad ova dat song when we got marred. We sed we wuld alwayz b der 4 each odder.

"Ok fine dis is ur last chance bittch."** As I've said before. It's this easy to make Twila break a promise…** I ran out of da room nd saw Carlose in da hall. "Hey babez" he laffed. "Im so much betta dan edward, y dont u come upsters wif me?"** Oh, GROSS!** But I just ran away sadly becuz every1 wanted sumfing from me.** Yes! Yes! Kill yourself!**

The next day was a bad tim becuz it was akward betwn me nd Ed. Nd plus Midnite was in da hospital from slitting her rists, becuz Jazper had called her a slutt. **Go Jasper!** He waz getting realli moody all da time nd he acted jelous around me nd Ed all da time. I asked him abot it in skewl

"Hey y da fukk did u mak my sister slit her rists." **Oh, THAT. I thought you'd become all caring and ask him what was wrong. My mistake **I roared. He sighed wif deprezzion nd sed "Im just not in luv wif her anymore, after u killed alic I saw ur true strength." **Two things. First, she killed Rosalie, not** **Alice. And second, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT ANOTHER ONE! **"What r u saying?" I dint undestand. **You're kidding me right?** "Im saying dat i would rather b with u dan her. So I was hopping dat she wuld kill herself nd we wuld b devorced."** Oh, PLEASE**

"Omg i wuld neva b wif u in a million years, ur a terrible person..." i sed wif tears of blood pooping **What? **down my pale face. I waz wearing violet fishnetz wif safety pins in dem and a red corset wif a blakk vest over it n a pentagram n lots of safety pins nd tight blakk jeanz. **Why did you feel the need to suddenly tell us what you're wearing? RANDOM! **Mikael, Jabob, Bella, n Jessa all gatered **Who?** around us. Jasp waz so embarassed. A lot of da teachers came over n stared at me.** So, Jasper is embarrassed, but everyone is just staring at you. Then why's he embarrassed?**

"Twila plz report 2 da principles office." The teachers sed strangly.** I'd sound like that too if I suddenly saw someone cry blood** So i followed dem nd da princple was der and he sed to me "Im sorri but we r going 2 hav 2 tranfer u to a diff skewl." **WHAT? That's all?**

"OMFG NO." sed loudly. "I CANT DIS IS WER EDWARD GOZ 2 SCHOL." **Yeah, so?** "Yes," they admited uncomfortly. **Why should they feel uncomfortable?** "But ur causing a realli bad diserbance in da school. U c der is somthing... odd abot u. Nd no1 feelz comfortble wif u here so u hav 2 go 2 dat other school in Waschington, ** Yes, go and never come back! **calld Mount Saint Prepz Acadamy. "** Okay, that's just stupid**

I culdnt beleve it. I waz nevr gong 2 see ed agen if i went dere.** YES!** I jumpd out da window n ran home n took out a nife and cut miself. Der waz blood all ova da floor nd i fell down and started 2 die.** DIE, MARY SUE, DIE!**

XXXXX 2 BE CONTINUED XXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX END OF CHAPER 5XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

OK GUYZ SORRI FOR DA CLIPHANGER. I WILL UPDATE SOON. REVIEWS THANX** Sorry for the cliffhanger? What cliffhanger?**

**AN: Well guys, for the first time in 5 chapters I'm actually happy with the ending. Imagine that :). Anyway, 5 down, 7 to go! Till next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hey everyone! Thank you to ****SparkleXRiverX**** for putting this story on alert, and Thank you to I'm awesome and y'all know it for reviewing. I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Anyway, without further ado… Chapter 6!**

A/N: ok u noe wat prepz? im gong 2 rite mi stori betta so u guyz kan stup complaning abot chatzpeek. SO NOW U WILL HAV NOTHING 2 FLAMM ABOT HA HA.** Oh believe me, even WITH better "chatzpeek" your story still sucks** nd btw stopp tellin me 2 use spellchek, becuz im using notpad nd it dosnt have it ok!** Well that's too bad, because you damn well need it! On the other hand, this explains a lot…** midnite fanx for da good reveiws, n every1 else hu gav me good reveiws, u guyz rokk! **The mystery reviewer is revealed! It's Midnight!** TATA GLIESBIE **Who?** I LUV U! PREPZ STUP FLAMMING!1** No** GOTHZ ROCK 666** Oh there's the 666! I missed you guys!**

CHAPTER 6

XXX CONTINUD FROM DA LAST CHAPTER XXX

When I woke up Deward was over me.** She STILL can't get her fiancée's name right. Bad, Twila, very bad** "Twilla. TWILA!" he screwed into my ear. "Youre going to be ok." **That's nice, wake up to someone screwing in your ear…**

My long strait hair was all around me, I was laying on the flor. I was wearing a black spagitti strap shirt with a matching sweatshirt over it nd a blak jean skirt with MCR pins on it. I had on ripped fishnets and blak highheels that had spikes coming out of them.** Why are you telling me what you're wearing? I don't care!** There were bandagez all over my arms and body were I cut myself. You could c the blood coming thru.** Ooooh, the Horror!**

"Just fukk off ok?" I said with a sad smile and I storted to cry. He tried 2 comfort me. He had his bronz hair in spikes with purple steaks in it and he had on white fondation on his sexah face. **I thought he was ugly enough in Twilight, but now I actually feel sorry for him. Wow, what's this story doing to me?** There were tears raining down from his topaz eyes. **He's a sparklefairy. He can't cry any more than you can bleed** "No plese tell me y you did this." He shooted.

"I dont want to effing talk abot it ok can you just bakk the fuk off!" I was so depressed. I got up off the floor and tried 2 run out the door but Edward stopped me. "WAIT!" he whimspered. "There is some1 waiting for you out there, itz not safe."** Then let her go! Maybe this time I'll get lucky** His voice got all low and hott like a male version of Amy Lee in the begining of Goin Under.** Even at the beginning of Going Under Amy Lee is still Amy Lee. Did you ever listen to that song? I mean, for real?**

"But I really need too talk to you." I begged pleasingly. "Lissen, I cant stay in dis school anymore."

"WE CAN TALK LATER, WATCH OUT, SHEZ ABOUT TO BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!" Suddenly I turned around and the door smashed down. **Here we go! Who's got the popcorn?** It was .. ... BUFFI THE VAMPIR SLAYER! (a/n fanx for da sugestion! 666 **Why the 666?** XXX)

"Ahahaha, dont even bother," she said meanly. "You cant escape from me Twila Beatiful Psyco Topaz Sad'ness Cullen." **When did you get yourself an extra name? I bet you were angry because Ebony/Evony/Enobby had an apostrophe in her name and you didn't**

But I was to angry to even c her. "You now what Edword, u never pay attencion to me. Why dont you just go to Emett, so you guys can screw?** I thought she saw him with Rosalie?** Becuz you obviously dont care abot me." **Yes, go!** "NO PLEASE" he got down on his knees with dark tearz of sorrow. **Dark tears of sorrow? What the…** "Give me another chance" **I don't understand why you're so desperate to be with her. I'd have dumped her long ago…**

"Do you remebr what I said that nite." He lookd at me all confused and sad, and Buffie started 2 take out her sword. "I SED ONE MORE CHANCE AND I MEANT IT NOW YOU CAN JUST GET THE FUKK OUT OF MI LIFE BECAUSE YOU ONLY HURT ME." **Hold that thought, Twila**

I took off da pentargram he had gotten me **When did he do that?** nd just before I was about to throw it out the window he ran over and hugged me and startd 2 sing "Cruxifiction in Space" by Marlin Manson.** No. No. No. No. No. NO. NO. NOOOO!** Dat song was so touching and I had to forgiv him. **See? Another broken promise!**

"Excus me were were we?" laughed Buffie da Vampir Slayer looking at us. "Look if u dont get out of here, i am gong to post dese pictures of u screwing Angell on the internet!" I shooted. **Oh, no! I'm SO scared! Jesus, Twila, I don't know how ANYONE can like you** She got scared becaus she didnt want 2 end up like that prep Pares Hilton. **What?**

A lot of other stuff happened nd then Edword went home, we were still marred. But I didnt get 2 talk 2 him abot transferring. I went home n listened to Panic At Da Disko and put on a blak nitegown nd put my hare up in a blakk skull clip. **Now read the next sentence** I went 2 take a bathe but when I went to da tub I saw. ... Edard! **She was gonna take a bath with her clothes on! Oh, priceless…**

"How did u get in here?" I asked shockly with anger. "I transported n, I have telekinisis." (a/n LIKE VOLXEMORT FROM MY IMMORTAL LOL.) **As if I needed another reason to hate this story…**

So we took off our cloths nd you guyz can guess what we did (yea u pervs get ur mindz out of the glutter.) **Excuse me? YOU'RE the one who wrote it, and WE have to get our minds out of the gutter? Oh, please** The next morning I woke up and I COULDNT BELEVE IT.

"OMFG ED WAKE UP RITE NOW." I scremed. He drove over 2 my house to see what waz wrong. **I thought he was there already? This story doesn't make sense** "IM PREGGANT." I was crying.** You can't see that the next day already, moron** I started 2 kut my rists over the bandages with a razor. Just then da fone rang, it was the principal saying "Twola, ur going to be late for ur first day at Mount Saint Prepz Acadamy."** RANDOM! Jesus, this is just terrible**

"THATZ IT THIS COULDNT BE ANY WORSE." I flew in2 my bed and kept crying nd my pillow turned red nd black with makup and blood. **Why? Did you cut your face or something?**

"YOURE GOING 2 MOUNT SAINT PREPZ ACADAMY?" EDWARD YELLED. "I WAS TRYING TO TELL U THAT LAST NIGHT YOU IDIOTIC AIDS!" **Okay, that's just not cool. DON'T FUCK WITH AIDS, YOU ASSHOLE! Sorry about that. I just don't like people cursing with things like Aids or Cancer**

I culdnt take it, my life was absolutely terrible and I had nofing left to live for. **Yes? Kill yourself! Please?** Edword tried 2 calm down and hug me but I punched him away.

"Please itll be ok." He pormised. But I didnt believe it. I just wanted 2 watch Da Ring nd overdosse with aspirin and pot. **You're a vampire(a pathetic one, but still…), I don't think that would work** I storted to sing How Could This Happen 2 Me by smipple plan. **Not another song! Can you talk too, or is singing the only way you can communicate?** Ed weeped and weeped (a/n if u dont luv sensiteve guyz den fukk off!) nd I fell asleep having nitemares abot prepz and babiez. **I thought you were late for school already? What the…**

XXXXXXXXXXX END CHAPTER 5 XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

lol I BET U DINT EXPECT DAT WELL U WILL HAVE 2 WATE ND C WAT HAPPENZ. **You're right, I thought you had already reached the highest level of stupidity possible. Guess I was wrong**

**AN: Dear GOD! This is horrible. But I started it, and I'm gonna finish it :). We're halfway! Yay! Only 6 chapters to go! See you next time!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Hey all! Chapter 7 already, wow… I didn't think I would make it this far. Anyway, HUGE thanks to SparkleXRiverX for reviewing(I agree, comments make fanfictions like this SO much better to read…). Glad you're liking it! Here's chapter 7! Strap yourselves in, guys, and brace yourselves…**

a/n: FLAMMERZ BAK OFF. GOTHZ FANX 4 DA GUD REVIOWS. **Huh, and here I was thinking all the goths out there would be SO offended by this story ruining the "gothic" idea they'd only be flaming… My mistake** sorry dat i tuk so lung 2 updatt! ok i waz lissening 2 lenkin park nd i storted 2 ovrdose on pot, crak, maryajana nd koke. and i had 2 go 2 da hoospital for a week lol. **LOL? YOU THINK THAT IS FUNNY? YOU… UGH! OVERDOSES AIN'T FUNNY! YOU'RE LUCKY YOU SURVIVED! Sorry. What is WITH this girl? She's got me on a rant before the chapter even started. Doesn't sound promising…**

CHAPTER 7

The next day I woke up in the morning and opened my icy topaz eyes. I was covered in blood. Der was blood all over my bed. My rists had started cutting **How did they do that?** during the night while I was having nightmares. I moaned smexily** What?** and got in the shower nd all da blood went down the drain all swirly nd stuff like in the movie "Pycho" (geddit lik part of mi name,** You shouldn't be proud to be called "Psycho", Twila** btw if u dnt lik gorey moves lik dat den FUK OFF!).** Why do you keep telling people to fuck off? That's just rude**

I had got sent the unform for fukking Mount Saint Preps Adacemy in the mail and I put it on suicidally. It was prep-pink with purple plaid and the skirt was realli long. I got a knife and cut the skirt and made it really short. I also got a black sharppie and made the whole thing blak. I put a bunch of MCR pins on it and sum safety pins. I made a bunch of rips in the shirt where my bobs go and you could see my lazy blak bra.** Your bra was lazy? Wait, don't answer that. Just tell me why you'd rather dress like a whore than a normal, schoolgoing girl? And by the way, way to be rebellious, Twila. Feel better now?** I put up my long strait blak hair in a messy thing with spikes all shooting out and put on red ishadow with blak glitter in it **You put it in your HAIR? What the…**

When I got 2 school there were a million prepz there and I started tu cry gothically **How can you do that? A surprising fact: She spelled it RIGHT. Wow, that's a first…** and give them the middle finger. **Rude, Twila** Plus I remembed that I was pregnant **You don't know if you are. It's only been two days** and I screaming and all the stupid preps got scared and ran to tell the teachers who all wore pink.** Oh, please. Cut it out with those idiotic stereotypes!** But they were all crowded arond some1 and gasping with orgasm and bewildedfulness. I pushed through them giving them all dirty looks and saw who they were staring at. It waz. . ... Edword! **Surprise! You didn't think we'd get rid of him that easily, did you?**

"OMGOD WTFRU!111 DOING HERE?" I shooted jumping into hir arms. **Only one chapter ago she was screaming at him, telling him she never wanted to see him again. Now look at this…** All the teacherz got scared and ran away and kept looking at his beauty from the distance.** Why would they be scared?** "Bby I just couldn't keep going to that skool without you. So I transferred here. That skool is just full of prepz now." **So is this one. Plus this one has Twila. Personally, I'd choose for that other school…**

He storted to sing "You Know Whot They Do 2 Guys Like Us In Pirson" to me and I loved him. I knew that he would alwez be there for me.

"Byt he way Twi, ur not pregg." **I told you that two days ago **I couldn't beleive it! He told me that he had gotten me tested **When and how did he do that?** and I wasn't going to have a baby.

"I'm so glad lol." **Now you gotta remember this is the same girl who burst into tears because she was sixteen and not married. I can't. I just can't.** I was crying with joy. We ditched skool and dropped out. We smoked drugs and alcolol outside and the prepz wished they were as cool as us. **DRUGS ARE NOT COOL! DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL IS NOT COOL! I'M GLAD I'M NOT LIKE TWILA! COME ON, "PREPS", GET A FRIGGIN' BRAIN! I'm just… I can't. Dear GOD!**Things were getting back to the good way that they used** EXCUSE ME?!** to be and. **And what?**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX END CHAP

ok sorri it wuz so shortt, im still in rehab from da incidenx so i need 2 get better 2 rite more of da good stuff LOL bye. **I'm confused. What good stuff?**

**AN: Glad that's over and done with. Dear god! On a completely different note, do you think I should change the rating to M? Not because of Twila's language, but because of mine… I'm serious, this girl just gets me in all the wrong places. Well, 7 chapters down, 5 to go! Please review and see you next time!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Hey all! Thanks to I'm awesome and y'all know it for reviewing(twice, no less, I'm honoured :)) and another Thank you to sharry for reviewing! Now, here comes the chapter!**

a/n: OKSU GUYZ PREPSTOP FLARMING! **No way, it's way too much fun **siruisly** Okay, that's just a bad joke** if u fink mi grammer iZ BAD DEN FUKK U BITCH! DIS TORY IS GONG 2 MAK ME FAMOOSESUM DAY ND IT WILL B SOLD IN LIBARIES OK **Excuse me for a moment: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH GOD, SO FUNNY! Okay, I'm done **SO WNH I AM A MELLONAIR** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And here I went again… Seriously. So. Damn. Funny** U BITCHEZ KAN CUM CLAWRING2 ME ND I WILL SAY FUKK U OK!

disclainer: btw, TWILIGT does not belung 2 me, it is by serpantie millerz,** Ouch, painful** ok she wunt su me now. **Ok, fine. Serpantie Millerz, whoever the hell that is, won't sue you. Stephenie Meyer on the other hand…**

PLZ ENJOY GOTHEZ, DANX FOR DA GUD COMMENX. i am out of rebab soo i will b able 2 updat more arugato! **What? **OH ND fanx 2 Rodriga for helping me wif da spanish! **She did a pretty bad job…** U WILL C WHAT I MEAN LOL x666x

CHAPTER 8

"Twila . . . . . . . . . ."

I kicked and whismered in my sleep as da voice got louder and louder. **How are you still asleep?** I was sleeping in bed with Edward, but I don't think he heard it because he didn't say he heard it. **Or perhaps he thought you were sleeping and didn't want to wake you…** Plus he was sleeping. **Yes, I figured**

"TWILA, TILA!" said the voice screamingly. It sounded like an ugly old man, or it sounded like Midnite. **So Midnight sounds like an ugly old man. What a GREAT compliment, Twila** I wazn't realli sure. I opened my eyes, which were like endless pools of beautiyful topaz. **Why do you keep reminding us of your eyecolour? It gets really boring after a while…** I looked around in the dark, but since I was a vampir I could see in the dark (a/n vampirs can see in the dark **So can I, and I'm just a pathetic little human…**). I saw Ed next to me. His bornze hair was messy and sexah nd his pale skin glowed in the dark. **Sounds terrible** He was silently singing "Da Hell Song" by sum-42 in his sleep.** He can't sleep, sweety, yet another fail**

"Hoes there?" I crapped **What?** poisonally. My long black hair whipped around me as I turned back and forth at da speed of light. **What?** I didn't c anyone there so I was fukking confused. **I thought you could see in the dark?** I had on a silver nitegown with black linning, and blak lace all around da boobs. **Why did you tell me that? I don't care!** I was wearing blak stilettos **In bed?** nd had on tons of eyeliner that I had made cat eyes out of. **That's gonna look So. Ugly. In the morning**

Then the voice contunued to shout,** Why would he do that? Didn't he notice you sit up?** "Cum to me Tila Beautifu Psyco Topaz Cullen. OPEN UR EYES TILA TEQUALA **More Tequila! Yay!** FOR IT IS ME!"

"WHAT?"! I shooted. "OK STOP FUKING AROND, WHO DA HELL IS ME?"** I was wondering that, yeah…**

Then I looked next to my bed and saw hu was standing ther! It was. .. ... A MAN! **Ooooooooooooooh, what a perfect observation!**

"What r u doing u effing pervert." I giggled** You're actually giggling while you're calling him a pervert** foriously. "U now dat izn ot aportionate to b in a toung girlz rom?"

"Hahahaa. Si, but I c dat you are lovers wif mi enemios." He said in Spanish.** That's not Spanish, that's just rubbish**

Suddenly Ed woke up **He's only waking up NOW? That guy's been yelling and screaming for more than 5 minutes now** and growled all ruff nd tuff. **What?** He shined his gloriosus **What?** teeth in the mans face nd he was temporerily blinded for life. **He was temporarily blinded for life? How's that possible?**

"MY EYES!" the ugly man shotted. So I was right, it was an ugly man. **Yes, I figured. Pointless sentence…** I got out of bed seducingly taking off my cloths. **I hope this isn't going where I fear it's going…** Edmard gasped all angry and sensative (a/n lol jealous hot bi guyz r so great) becauz I was getting naked in front of a strangler. **I'm not sure if that's a good idea** A lot of other stuff happened **Ew… It WAS going where I feared it to be going** and den we found out that da mans name was James but becuz he is Spanish they call him like HAmez.** Riiiiiiiiight… And last I checked, James wasn't Spanish in any way at all** We found this out because I bribed him wif my body.** So that's all you found out? His name?**

**AN: Dear god, that was just stupid. Really, the worst chapter up till now. Well, 8 chapters down, only 4 left now! See you next time!**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Yay! The Day of the Doctor! So excited! Anyway, Thank you I'm awesome and y'all know it for reviewing. Now, on with the chapter!**

a/n: OMG SOZ I TOOK SO LUNG 2 UPDATE. **Don't be** i kant realli say why but if u want tu know den msg me nd i'll tell u dat i had an emegency** Why do you first say you CAN'T tell, and then tell me anyway?** nd almost died from sallowing 5 bottles of aspirin lol.** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU? IT'S NOT FUNNY! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT?! Seriously, what's WRONG with her? And there went my good mood…**

LOL GUEZZ WHAT, TU ALL OF U PPL WHO SAY DAT IM DUMB, MI PSYCOLGY TEACHER TOLD ME 2 IGNORE U becuz ur just playing mind gamez **No, we're telling you the truth** 2 tri to make me fell bad abot miself. i am not da losser in dis situaton! **Yes, you are** neway PREEPS STOP FLAMONG, **Nope **gothz tanx for da good stuff, MCR ROX!11 **RANDOM! And was it really THAT hard to keep the "shift" pressed until you let go of the "1" button?** 666

CHAPTER 9

Recap from Chapta 8: "I want to kill Bella becuz ..." **I think you got the meaning of "recap" wrong. It's supposed to refresh our memories of the previous chapter, but I can't remember this bit. Last sentence was you figuring out James' name by undressing **"We kan help u wif dat." I said sexily. "Muy bean." (C IS DAT SPELLED WRUNG.) **Probably, but I don't even know what it's supposed to mean. FAIL!** "I'll c u at dawn" XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When I woke up again that morning I was ready to kill Bella.** Yay…** It was dawn and Hamez **His name is JAMES, not Hamez** had packed all of da supplies for killing. **Does he need more than just his hands and teeth?** Eddie woke up and opened his eyez which were the same as mine. **Why did you tell me that? RANDOM! And useless** We put on our makeup (he had on white foundation, **He's already pale** black eyeliner, **He's already got dark circles under his eyes** and dis fake blood stuff that goes on ur face. **WHY? Why would he do that?** i had on purple eyeshadow, lots of blakk, and drak lipstick.) **Drak lipstick? What's that?** Hamez tried to watch us get dressed but I told him that if he didn't fuck off I wouldn't help him kill that little bytch.** So? He shouldn't need your help. What's Bella gonna do against a vampire?**

So I didn't go 2 school but the preppy prinzipal was too scared to call nd ask why. **1) Than he's a crappy principal, and 2) Maybe he just thought you were sick? ** Ed didn't go eiver. ***Facepalm* Seriously Twila? There was NO way I could have figured that out… *heavy sarcasm*** I suddenly remebered Midnite **Wow, you actually thought about your sister instead of yourself!** and knew she would want 2 be involved too but she was on her honeymoon with Jaspa who I had told to love her or else I waz never gong to talk to him agen. **Not impressed, Twila** While we were leaving secretely to Bella's house, I got sad becuase Ed and I didn't have a honeymoon. **RANDOM!** I started to cut my rists a little on da way there **How can you do that? You didn't bring any sharp objects with you** and I saw dat Ed looked worried. **NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. How strange for a boyfriend to be worried when his girlfriend suddenly starts cutting her wrists…**

When we got there Hamez borke into the house and we went upstares to Bella's room. The whole thing was pink nd it reminded me of Roslyn's **Who?** room. I storted 2 cry all hot **Yeah, right…** and angsty because that's where I had caught her with my husband. **Who, Bella?** I cut my rists some more **I actually had to stop reading there for a few minutes before I was able to continue** but Hamez said "Shhh, we can't let her no we are at her casa." **Ah, yes. "Hamez" spoke some kind of English-Spanish-gibberish kind of thing**

She was sleeping all preppy **How can she do that?** nd there were posters of Ed on her walls. I ran over and tore them down wif my long, black nails. **Are you done, Twila?** She was dreaming abot Ed and he started to get angry** Why? She can't control her dreams** becuz he hated her. "Ok are u ready?" Hamez whimpered. "Here Tila you can take this sword. Eddie kan have the needle, itz full of cyanide." **1) Seriously? You're VAMPIRES (Pathetic ones, but still…) and you need NEEDLES AND SWORDS for killing someone? You really are pathetic and 2) Swords? Really? Why? You couldn't get a gun?** Well I was sad becuz I had alwez wanted to inject myself** I hope with all my heart this isn't a personal opinion of the author…** but I didn't say neithing because I knew they wuldnt understend. **Damn right!** I storted to cry tears of blood and Ed gasped and started crying also with me. **What the…**

"Don't tell me . . . . ." he screamed wif depths of depression and pain in his voice. **Err… Okay? I think…** "Dat ur SAD shes going 2 die?" "No you fukking retard. I'm sad because there are so many things dat I want in life but evry1 only cares about my bodi!" **KILL YOURSELF! Please? For me?**

"It's not ur fault that u'r beautiful." **What are you talking about?** He cried sexily hugging me. Hamez got scared becuz we were being loud but Beela didn't wak up. **Yeah right** Suddenly we killed her. **Suddenly? You didn't… Plan it or anything?**

"Thank satan she's gone." we all said in unicorn.** Unicorn… So funny** Her body disintergrated **Doubt that** into her bed which was all wet with blood. We ate her bed so there would be no evidenze** You ATE her bed? Gross…** (lol geddit like evinezenze.)** No. No. No. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO** And left before her mom could wake up. **She doesn't live with her mom, sweety, she lives with her dad. FAIL!**

When we got to da door there was someone blocking it suicidally.** Suicidally? What the…** "CARLIZ?" we all scremed at once. "Yes I can't take it anemore." he said breathing all crazy. **OH NO! NOT ANOTHER ONE!** He was looking at me! Edward put his hand around me like protection. "Why are u here dad? GET OUT." His eyes started 2 rage.** YES! Get out before I puke!**

"I'm here to take Tqila.** Tequila! Yay!** I am gong to make her my bride. And we will live in da darkness forevamore** I think I'm gonna be sick** hahaha!" he laughed evilly in a gothic voice that I suddenly realized was sexy. **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!** Then I sterted to think. **Please don't. That's not gonna end well…**

"Wait now." I kommanded when Ed was about to kill Calile. ***Facepalm*** DARKNEZZ FOREVERMORE? I thought beginning to have a mind change. **Oh, please** "Mebe that would be good for me you know? Because I need a vampir who can kepp me gothikally satisfied nd stuff." **And Eddy with his purple hair, way-too-pale skin and way too much eyeliner on, can't do that?**

EDWARD WAS HEARTBORKEN. **Why? Good riddance, is what I'd say** He satired to scream at the top of his lungs as black venemoos blood poured out of him. **What. The. Hell?** When a vampere gets ejected by da person that they truly love, there body storts to spazz all explosing like. **No. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO** I was misterious so I didn't let you know what was gong on in my thoughts lol.** What the F*CK? ARE YOU FRIGGIN' KIDDING ME?**

"Yeh dat sounds like a plain." I said sullenly joyfully to Carlise. **Oh, please** He was surmised that someone like me would want to be with him.** *Screams for 5 uninterrupted minutes*** Everyone in the room screamed in surprise. **Are you sure it wasn't horror?** "Plz plz just tell me what I did to make you want do leave me." said Ed having an ellipictic sezre on the floor.** I feel another scream coming…** But I didn't say anything still even though he was crying all too sensitive.** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H! And there it was**

"Ok." I finally gasped at Hamez. "Please just go along wif this. You'll see da true intestions of my plan soon."** No. No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Oh GOD no. Please!** And I made him take Ed away. And then I went with Carl **Who?** who was like "I'm so glad that u've made such a good choice," cackling all satanikally. **Don't. Blink.** We went 2 his house (STFU WE DIDNT EVEN DO ANTHING YET U FREAKIN PERVS.) **YOU'RE the pervert here** And I knew what I had to do. **Kill yourself!**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX END CHAPP 9 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **Thank god**

**AN: Dear GOD! This chapter just seemed ENDLESS! It was HORRIBLE! Anyway, please review and see you next time! Only 3 chapters to go!**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Hey guys! Long time no see! I actually wanted to have this chapter up last Monday, but then I got sick and then school decided to make my life even more difficult. Anyway, almost better now, so I decided you guys deserved an update :). HUGE Thank you to I'm awesome and y'all know it, Kisses Under The Apple Tree and SparkleXRiverX for reviewing! Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

a/n: ok guyz, i no u hav all binwaden 4 mi updats butt i waz on tour wif FALLOUTBOYY **Keep on dreaming, sweetheart** becuz dey red mi story nd invited me 2 come wif them ***Bangs head into keyboard*** nd it wa relly kool!111 **Blimey, how stupid can this girl get?** YAH B JELOOZ! OK MCR AND FLLOUTBOYS ROCK! 666!

CHAPTER 10

"So kan u plez tell me for why u decided 2 grace me with ur presenze." said Carli smiling. **I believe you asked her** I noticed how sexah he looked wif his violet contacts in. **Why would he wear violet contacts? I bet you decided only you and Eddy were "cool" enough to have topaz eyes…** He loked like an older, hotter vision of Edward and Pete Wints. **1) You misspelled it. FAIL! On the other hand, I don't know why I'm surprised… 2) Last time I checked, Carlisle was BLONDE, Pete Wentz has got black hair and doesn't look like Carlisle At. All.** He was werring blak eyelinear that was gong down his face from da last time he cryed. **He can't cry. And if my eyeliner did that, I'd have washed it off my face and put new eyeliner on. It seems to me all those so called vampires are just lazy.**

"Ur son has taken advantege of me to many times." **When did he do that? **I growled staring at him all gothik. Soddenly my vision when blak nd all I could c was blakness.** Yes, that tends to happen when your vision goes black…** i screAMED AND SCREMED becauz idid nt know what was happiening. Then I saw a vision of da antikrist nd i laughed dark and suicidally. ***Bangs head into wall***

"Twila, I just read youre mind." **Carlisle can't read minds. That's just Eddy** shouted Calisi. **Khaleesi? That's Daenerys!** No i said "becuse I just saw da anticirst?"** I don't get the connection**

"Yes, my tru form is Satan." **Oh, good! May I ask why Twila thinks it fun you sometimes possess her?** He describd. "Dat was me gonig into your thoghts and I saw the tru reazon why u came here with me." **There's a HUGE difference between Satan and the Anticrist. Come on, Twila. Do your homework!**

"Let me just tell u." I said sobbing becuz he had figered me out. "I kame here becuz... . . . .."

"Because you wanted to make Edwat jealos." **Why? **He said and I storted to cry. "How did u know?" I asked all deprezzed. He sed, "Becauz i just rad your mind" ***Bangs head into desk* Seriously? Can you be even MORE obvious?**

Then all suddenly somebody knocked on Carlo's** Who?** door. He lokked at me sadly nd opened da door and some gurl I didn't know jumped in.

"What is dis. Why r u here?"** Something I'd like to know…** we both asked the girl. She was realli ugly and twolve yerz old nd was wearing a pink Kelly Klorkson shirt nd had frizzie blond hair nd an ugly face. "HAI GUYS MI NAME IS FIONA!"** I'll bet all my possessions this is one of Twila's most faithful flamers :)** she scremed giggling nd walked into the house but Carlisa **When did Carlisle turn into a girl?** pushed her back out. "But u kan call me FIONAFIONA32." **YES! JACKPOT! **

"Ew get da fukk out of here!" I shooted. "OMGZ ur such a prep." Me and Calri were both disgosted nd suddenly Edwoard appeared and bit her neck nd she stated to screm and bleed. **Really Twila? Fanfiction revenge? How immature…(Although, I like the troll-ending to My Immortal. Hilarious :))** I was sobbing becuz bleeding waz my gratest desire **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! And here I was thinking I'd get throught this chapter without screaming…** but my doktor sed if i cut miself anymroe I would die **Don't listen to that doctor, just DO IT!** nd Edard would be sad. Anyway, Fona died on the flor and her body shirveled up and rotted away. **That would take a few days at least, Twila. Come on, you didn't get a brain for nothing!** Edward came in and got in a stand-off wiv his dad. **What?**

"Plz plz stop." I said still crying. **Oh, PLEASE** They were both killing each other nd their makup waz running down the faces. **No comment…** "I'm soz Ed. I didn't mean 2 hurt you I just wanted you to be jealuz. I doon't want to be with ur dad, kan u please take me home."** Why can't you just let them kill each other and kill yourself afterwards?**

Edward was so relived but Carlise was crying angrily and he storted to transform. "NO!11" he yelled. "Nobody kan reject Satan. DO U HEAR ME TILA, I AM STAN!1" **No, you're Carlisle**

"Yah I know." I said roling my eyez. **I thought you and him were best buddies or something?** But he kame running at me and I kicked him and he feel over moaning. **The "Supernatural" version of Lucifer is SO much cooler. And more awesome. And better looking. And just better in general** Me and Ed left him there and walked out helding handz while "Thnx fr da MEMRS" played in the bakkground **When did you turn the radio on?** (a/n FAGG OT BOY **Ouch, painful. Again** FUKKING ROKKS!1 **Is that why you call them Faggot boys?** IF U DUNT LIK DEM THEN GO KILL URSELF FUKK U! FALLOT BOY 4EVA). I had an invasion in my head sudenly while we where walking of da Antikrist saying **Usually an invasion means there are more than one person coming towards you…**"This is not over Twila, this weil never be over. Bitch" **As I've said before, Twila. DO YOUR FRIGGIN' HOMEWORK!** But I blooked it out becuz I knew I was stronger dan him. **Oh, COME ON! I don't see ANY possible way this could get worse**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX END CHAP10 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **THANK GOD!**

**AN: Thank GOD that's over! And just for the record, I'm not christian, but I do watch Supernatural, and that gives me angels, demons, God, Satan, an Apocalypse, and many more stuff, so I do know a bit about how it works up there. Only 2 chapters to go now! See you next time!**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Hey all! Thank you to I'm awesome and y'all know it for reviewing! (Did you like the troll chapter?) Anyway, here's chapter eleven!**

a/n: HAM EVRY1 ITZ BEEN 4EVAR!1 **That's okay, I didn't miss you…** my mom trid to make me wear a drezz n i had a tanttrum **Oooooh, the Horror! A dress!** n brok da computer n slit muh ritz. but no we got a new one lolz? **1) You actually BROKE the computer because you had to wear a dress? 2) Why the question mark?** neway TONX FOR DA REVEWS WHILE I WAZ GONE, FUKK ALL U PREPS WHO HATE MI STORI! I SWERE ILL GET SATAN TO KILL U IN UR SLEEP **I doubt you'd be able to do that…** U FUKKING POZERS! 666 XXX MCR STILL ROX!11 **And that's still random…** XXX

CHAPTER 11

The next day I was walking 2 Hot Tonic wif Edward. When suddenly out of nowhere Hamez appered out of da blue.** Yes, that happens when he appears out of nowhere… **

"Hi," we said gothically. **How's that possible?** But he looked very angery for some raisin.** I HATE RAISINS! :P** "Would you mind if I killed you," he storted to sing from dat song by Withen Temptortion.** AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! DON'T BRING WITHIN TEMPTATION INTO THIS MESS! Seriously, they're pretty good, don't deserve this. And they're Dutch, (as am I :D) so that pretty much makes them good in my book** "OMG STOP!111" Edward screamed jumping in front of me. **Why?** I was so confuzed becuz I did nut know what was going on. **Neither do I. Care to explain?** Then I realized Hamez was trying to kill us.** What, is his singing so terrible?**

"Why would u do such a thing you- you sick dirtbag!" **Worst insult ever. Seriously, that all you could come up with?** I cried wearing a long black satan skirt wif black leather boots and a ripped fishnet ponchu over a black velvet bra with red skullz. **I DON'T FRIGGIN' CARE! Stop it!** Mi makup was ruining down my pale pale face.** Why did you write "pale" twice?** BECUZ I WAS WEEPIGN. **Naw!**

"Now that Bellar is dead I don't ned your help." Hamez said as he also sobbed. **Why on earth would HE be crying?** "I don't want 2 do this but I have to. I'm afroid that . . . . . . . . . . . ."

"I DARE U TO FINNISH THAT SENTENCE." **I'd take the challenge…** Edmond muttered at the top of his lungz. **How can he do that? You can scream at the top of your lungs, or you can mutter something under your breath, but this… No** He turned into a bat **He can run. If he'd stay human(or at least as human as possible…) he would actually be able to DO anything** and flew at Hamez but Victor **Who's that and where did he come from?** leaped in front of him.

"Who are you?" we all screamed exempt Hamez becuz she was his gf. **So his GIRLfriend's name is Victor? How's that work?** She had jumped out of da trees. Then we decided 2 make up because we had no reason to fight **Suuuure… You do remember he wanted to kill you, right?** (A/N maybe later u will find out what hamez was goona say be4 lolol.) **I can guess. Probably something along the lines of "I'm gonna have to kill you", or something like that**

Vikroya** Now who the Hell's that supposed to be?** was wearing a realli sexah outfit **And you decided to tell me that… Why exactly?** and Edward saw me looking at her and got realli jealouuz. **Why? About nine chapters ago he discovered she "wasn't lezz" or something… **He storted 2 make out wif Hamez to get bakk at me. "Oh no WHAT HAVE U DONE, OMG YOU FREAKING ARSE." **He's making out with your boyfriend. Are you blind or just stupid?** Vikky shooted at my busband. **There's that busband again. Who IS that?** "You just entered da pakt with Hamez." **What?** That was when we found out dat whenever someone kissez Hamez they get binded to him for da rest of eternity. ***Screams for five uninterrupted minutes and bangs head into wall repeatedly*** "WTF that's so random." **Why is that random?** I laffed satanically. **Can I learn how to do that?** Edward looked realli scarered but I just said "It's okay, I like bi guyz so you can be with him too." **Seriously? That's the only reason you can think of? God, you're shallow. But then, why am I surprised?**

Vikky disappered becuz she was mad that Edward stole her boyfreend. **What? Where did that come from?** Then me, Edward and Hamez had to preform a special marriage cermoney for the 3 of us to all be together. **Why for the THREE of you? I thought only Eddy was "bound" to "Hamez"?** We all wore lots of black. **WHY did you tell me that?** "That is all." said Hamez looking at me flirty. "Now we have 2 seal the pact by dranking sum blood." **EDDY DOESN'T DO THAT! Come ON, Twila**

We all had an orgay nd went out to hunt. **Okay, don't lose your temper. Count to ten, slowly… Okay, I'm good** We found a whorewolf **A WHAT?** und were about 2 kill it when I relized it was Jakob. He changed back into a person and I gasped. **Why do you keep flirting with other guys when you're so happy with Eddy?** His long blak hair had purple and silver streakz in it, his skin was ten shads lighter, and he was wering an Alezana tshirt wif tight blak pantz. **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO! MY EYES! OH GOD NO! SOMEONE OBLIVIATE ME! Dear GOD, that sounds positively HORRID**

"Omg Jake, um." I said shy and sexy. "Hi u look realli good?"

"Thanx i got a new style" he said and looked at all of us. "Since you killed my dad I got real hordcore. Hey guyz can I join ur pakt." **EXCUSE ME? They KILLED your dad, and you want to JOIN them? Come ON!**

We had a sekret goffic huddle nd thout about it but they got angry and said no. Jakob storted to cry becuz we had killed his dad **Yes, exactly! Why would he WANT to join you?** and now we owed him. But Vikatora **When did she come back?** rolled her eyez, "Yea thatz karma" she pissed. **She pissed? Er… Okay?**

But then he turned back in2 a wolf and tried to attack us. I turned into a bat and flew out of tha way but Hamez waz too slow. **Oh, PLEASE** I screamed suicidally as Jakabob **Who the HELL is that? Jakabob. Sounds funny…** was about to tear apart Hamz **Yes! Kill him!** who suddenly shooted "IF I DIE THEN U ALL DIE, REMEMBER DA PAKT WE ARE TOGETHER 4 EVER." We were all horrorfied at dis. **Yes! GO JAKABOB!**

So we had to save him but we got all cut up but Edward said "Its okay Twi, you look exy with blood on you." **I think I might puke** So we ran away and Jake got lost in the woods. **I thought you'd kill him?**

XXXXXXXXXXXX FIN CHAPTER 11 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**AN: You know, when I started this chapter it was just over two pages. Now it's nearly three. That's BAD, Twila. My comments would fill almost an entire page. Second to last chapter! Only one to go now! See ya later!**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Hey everyone! Last chapter. Makes me kinda sad, I had fun doing this. Anyway, Thank you I'm awesome and y'all know it for reviewing and another Thank you to Kisses Under The Apple Tree for reviewing(SIX times, can you believe it? I'm honoured). Now, on with the chapter!**

a/n: ok r u redy 4 more? **Bring it on, Twila!** becuz sum certain bitch prepz were comploining i got more editars ok!1** Are they fictional too? 'Cuz I don't see any improvement…** GET OVER IT! **No way! **dansk 2 everyon hu lieks it! kep reding LOL GOFFS RULE FOREVER.

CHAPTER 12

Four days past and I relized that I didn't love Edwart anymore. **Yes! A dream come true!** I couldn't beleve it miself. I woke up in da morning wif black tearz of deep sorrowfull endless evol depression all crying down mah face.** What. The. Hell? "Black tears of deep sorrowful endless evil depression"? Just saying you woke up crying works too, you know…** I put on some Metalika musik nd cut rist. ***Bangs head into wall* **

"Twila are u in there?" someone whimpered from outside my room. I gasped. It sounded like Ed. **Here we go! Someone bring the popcorn?** But I just turned up the song and sang allong 2 it, screming "HOLD MI BREATH AS I WISH 4 DETH, OH PLEASE SATAN, WAKE ME" (a/n arent dose lyricz so menengful.) **No. Especially since you and "Satan" aren't really on speaking terms right now… Or did you forget about that?**

"OH FUKKIN SATAN NO WHAT R U DOING IN THAR!1111" **She's singing along with a song, moron. As am I :)** Edward exploded crying becaus he knew what this meant. **Then can you PLEASE explain it to me? 'Cause I don't get it…** He knew that I didn't want to c him because I had fallen out of love. **How does he know that? Can he read minds or something? Oh, that's right. HE CAN!**

"Darkness imprizoning me," I wept sadly. "All that I see- absulote HORROR I KANNOT LIVE- I KANNOT DIE!"** Yes you can! Kill yourself! You can do it!**

Sullenly the door broke down and a bunch of people kame in. **Poor door…** It waz all da Cullens **I half expected it to be Satan's Horde or something. You never know with this story** who were still alive n Jake (he had found hiz way out of da woods). They all storted to pin my hot body down **This isn't the moment to remind us (again) how pretty everyone seems to think you are…** so I could nut move.

"WTF ARE YOU DOING ASSHOLES." I shrieked. My rists were bleding everywhere. "NOW THE WORLD IS GONE ND I'M JUST ONE, OH SATAN HELP ME." **I thought he was your enemy? Why would you ask him for help?**

They turned off da musik **Oooh, it was the MUSIC! Why didn't you just say so?** nd I fainted. **Why do you faint when all they did was turn off the music?** "You can't do this Twi." **WHY DID YOU HAVE TO STOP HER? I WAS FINALLY GONNA GET MY WISH GRANTED!** They looked all serious. "We all entered da pakt by making out wif Hamez." **What. The. Hell?** They said nodding. I gasped again. **You fainted. You shouldn't be able to make a sound. And what do you mean "again"? When was the other one?** "And Twila, u can't deny ur felines **What's that?** for Ed."** What are felines and what do they have to do with Eddy?**

"Remember the pakt is that if you die, we all die." **No. That only goes for "Hamez", not for Twila** I woke up and asked "Yeah. But isn't the pakt just me Ed Hamez and Victory. **If this is a question, where's the question mark?** What's gong on?"

"I know lol," I promised. **Wait what? You promised yourself?** "I fink it was just a fase I just went thru." **I've got a feeling there's at least five sentences missing…** But then Carloyle **Now who the Hell's that?** stepped forward looking at me all weird. "Nu," **Ni! Ni! Ni!** he laughed darkly. "I told u it wasn't over Twila Beautiful Psycho Topaz Sad'ness Damian Cullen. **First it was just Topaz, then it became Topaz Cullen, then it became Topaz Sad'ness Cullen, and now it's Topaz Sad'ness Damian Cullen? What's with you and all these random extra names?** I was trying to make you not love my son wif my powerz so you would kome back to me." **1)Right, because that's not creepy At. All… 2) CARLISLE DOESN'T HAVE ANY POWERS! I think it's weird I seem to know more about the books than you, and I HATE the books, Twila. **

"Well letz celebrate." Jake screamed. "Twila doesn't want you Carl. You need to get over it." **You were flirting with this girl only one chapter ago…**

"You really seem to understnad me?"** Where did that come from?** Carlisse froned confusedly at Jake. "No one has ever realli understood me." **Neither does Jake. All he did was tell you to stop pining over Twila**

So we all went to Vegass and had a party and came back to Washerton. **Washerton… Never heard of that place. Where is it?** Carlile and Jake got marred there. **What about Esmee?** Then Jake died sadly in an axident so Carliel **Who?** got remared to Esmie. **Then I don't see why he divorced her in the first place. They got back together anyway.**

"Twila this place isn't safe." Edward told me that nite. "Did u see what happened to Jake, **It was a bloody ACCIDENT. It's not your fault if Jake forgot to wake up that morning…** we need to go someplace safer. I know a safe place for vampirs it's called Black Cavern of Bloody Despair." **"Black Cavern of Bloody Despair… Hm. Doesn't SOUND safe at all…**

"Den letz leave at dawn." I said staring at him deeply wif my eyes. "We kan start a new goffic life." **Excuse me. I gotta puke…**

"Okay he said."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxX END xXxXxXxXxXxXx

**AN: Well, this is the official end of It's Another Twila Commentary! Glad y'all liked it. I'm gonna do a poll on what I should write next. Please feel free to vote! Perhaps I'll see you again in another story :)**

**Thank you: sharry, I'm awesome and y'all know it, SparkleXRiverX, Kisses Under The Apple Tree, Luxaz and Co, Gammija, AlexReeder17 and ****ksatriabawangmerah**** for giving me the motivation to keep on going! Without you I don't know if I ever would have finished this!**

**See you later! (maybe)**

**HeapsofHorses**


	13. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**The poll is UP. On my profile page, at this moment it looks like I'll write a comment on Forbidden Fruit next.**

**You think it should be something else? Click on my profile page, then click on the poll, and VOTE! The poll will be open until the end of this week. Then I'll update again so you will know what will be next.**

**Thank you!**

**HeapsofHorses**


	14. ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Hey all! This author's note is to let you know I'll do a commentary on Forbidden Fruit next, so stay tuned!**

**Now for replies:**

**SparkleXRiverX:**** Yes, I will :). Not sure when the first chapter will be up, though. Tomorrow probably. Or later today :)**

**Kisses Under The Apple Tree:**** That sure sounds like something fun to do :). Perhaps after Forbidden Fruit :) **

**I'm awesome and y'all know it:**** I know right? Just weird… But then again, that whole story was weird…**

**And ThoseEvilDucks, I can't put you in a chapter AN anymore, but still thanks for favouriting!**

**I hope to see you all at my new commentary!**

**HeapsofHorses**


	15. YET ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Hey everyone! For the people who didn't notice it yet, the Forbiden Fruit commentary is UP, and secondly, I'm gonna make the alternative ending on Twila. Should be up in a few days or so. I'll warn you.**

**Hope you all had a Merry Christmas!**

**HeapsofHorses**


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